Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Update: 7:15pm on 6/1

Hey Darlin,

It's your Mum. It's been another rough week, but today was a better day. You and I sort of hit bottom together. You've been battling for your life for months now and it just seems like every time you get ahead an inch another landslide knocks you down. I've been worrying and chasing medical complications for weeks and my faith was faltering. The more I worry, the harder it is to support you. So yesterday I down-loaded the book The Secret by Rhonda Byrne and started reading it out loud to you. When I told your Aunt Tricia, she said, "Yeah Rae, you sent me The Secret a couple of years ago. You always lived your life that way, you just didn't know it was called The Secret." I think Tricia's right. I have always believed that we create our own reality. That our thoughts and expectations have a way of becoming self fulfilling. Forrest, I know you would laugh out loud and tease me for reading The Secret to you. But today as I read the words out loud I began to renew my Faith, my utter unconditional belief that you are resting and healing. I am visualizing you up and working at National Rehabilitation Hospital in DC. Your friends are coming to visit you and we are heading to the Farm for the week-end. You are smiling and laughing with your therapist. Your eyes sparkle, your arm reaches out to give me one of your enveloping hugs. We are both so excited about our week-end at home. I can hardly wait.

Today, Forrest was diagnosed with an aggressive form of bronchopneumonia. The lab was able to culture the bacteria and his antibiotics were changed. They are treating him with nebulizers to open the airways and a percussion vest to break up the secretions. His fever is down and he is resting more comfortably today with less tremors. He isn't able to respond to us verbally yet, but he does relax when we gently massage his contracted tendons and muscles. And just between you and me, he does enjoy the book. I feel the positive energy growing again. I do believe in the "Law of Attraction". That through our positive thoughts, expectations, visualization and our Faith, we attract joy, health and happiness. Please keep visualizing Forrest healthy, whole, happy and home. I am certain that through the power of our collective visualization and our collective prayer we will bring him home to BrightWood.

With love and gratitude,


Visualizing Mom and her boys back on the farm


  1. We know you are on the upswing again, 44. The right meds fighting the nastiness that snuck inside you will definitely get you back on track, regaining strength, ready to work your way back. We can't wait to have all of you back at Brightwood. I am running out and buying that book! Many people I know have recommended it. Now I am going to read it with you!

  2. Positive thoughts and visualization are powerful. Am I'm already seeing you all at home, riding your beautiful horses and enjoying that phenomenal scenery. Blessings to you all.

  3. My book group will read along too....and we are behind you with those positives. And we are a prayerful group on your behalf too. Love you guys.

  4. Forrest,
    We are sorry to hear of the latest setback you are having to endure! We believe in the power of faith, love and hope so many people are sending your way and that you will find a way to fight through this challenge. Hugs to you and your family for your determination and the wonderful support you have all given each other. Love and prayers to all, Bev, Frank, John and Susan

  5. Mum

    Those of us who have followed Forrest's odyssey over the last five months have only been able to glimpse the physical and emotional roller coaster that is recorded in the pages of this blog. None of us can begin to fathom the daily struggle Forrest and Team 44 has endured. Those of us who are parents can only imagine what it is like to daily manage the team of experts and caregivers, sifting through choices of the lesser evil and sitting bedside by your child as they suffer as Forrest has suffered.

    All of us have marveled at your strength and endurance. As a family, you have amazed us with your ability to come together in a moment of crisis and hang together through this protracted ordeal. As Mum and Dad we have been awed by your ability to lead your family through this tough time. I am not sure which would be harder -- to be separated from Forrest as Kent has been trying to deal with the everyday challenges professionally while trying to constantly monitor Forrest's progress from afar and only able to be there in person to offer comfort sporadically, or to be there minute by minute directing the efforts of the medical team and watching the painfully slow progress as well as these agonizing set backs as they occur while dealing with your own professional challenges remotely.

    Throughout it all, your smile, sometimes through gritted teeth, and your positive outlook and attitude has been like the lighthouse on the rocky shores. Like the lighthouse, you have managed to emit a beacon of light which always seems the brightest on the darkest of days. You have not only managed to keep your family's ship safely off of the rocks, but you have been an inspiration to all of us who marvel daily at the brightness of your light.

    Rae, at some point even the lighthouse needs a new bulb or other maintenance. It is my hope and prayer that the combination of a change in venue and a move closer to home and your friends can provide you the new bulb for your lighthouse. I will not say do not despair, it would be impossible to go through this ordeal and not despair from time to time. I will say that, in moments of despair, remember the love and support of your husband and son, of your and Kent's brother and sisters, and of all of your friends back home.

    Please know we are all thinking happy thoughts for Forrest and Team 44. We are all visualizing the day when you guys are all together at BrightWood.


    The Selfes

  6. I'm so glad that the doctor's have finally diagnosed the problem, thanks to Team 44 forcing them to check for pheumonia. I feel certain that things are looking up now, and that they will continue to improve. Our prayers are still flowing your way!

    Love, Wilbur and Joyce

  7. Go Girl! We will follow your example and i will re read The Secret and start visualizing you all coming home with smiles.

    Much love,

  8. I hear conviction in your post Rae, and it makes my heart both glad and grateful. I have been praying for a return of hopefulness for you, and by extension, all of us.

    Some years ago, I prayed fervently for healing of a different kind for one of my children. It took awhile - exactly how long it needed to, likely - but, my prayer was answered. I was deeply moved by and clung to the following:

    Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. Mark 11:25

    This is the powerful prayer that you are making on behalf of Forrest. With joy and conviction, I will also pray for healing for Forrest fully believing that it has been given.

    With love and conviction,

  9. You are an amazing mum Rae! I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. You truly inspire me with your love and courage.

    Hang in there and we will keep praying! I'm picturing Forrest healthy and home:) We love you guys!!

    Kelly and Family

  10. I will hold this photo of you and your boys in my mind and heart. You are amazing Rae, and your Forrest is too. I am also overwhelmed by the love and devotion of Austin. You must be so proud of both of them. Cling to what gives you hope and peace. God be with you.

  11. Rae,

    You are such a good example to me for being a loving mother.
    I have to tell you, your posts makes me have so many positive views about life.
    Thanks for teaching me to be strong and positive.

    Love Hazel, James and Rebekah